Bluaaks-Thu!

Bluaaks-Thu!

Just like we have a National Symbol, a National Anthem, a National Animal, and so many others, why not have a National Sound? There's no need to search for it. Our eardrums have recorded the frequency permanently even before we were born. You can hear it everywhere, just lean on the rooftop wall of your house during the early morning, and look down at the hustle and bustle.

Bluaaks-Thu!

I did this, and formed a law (yeah, something like what Newton did). At any given moment, a human, say A, will be able to see any other human, say X, make a queer noise in his/her throat and then spit out a red stuff with the velocity, v. Let the state of the spitter's teeth be measured by its' color, C, the darker, greater the magnitude, and R be the reaction seen in the observer. So here goes the equation:

R(A)=X(v)C

I inserted the numbers, and the results made me nearly retch. Quite a reaction for studying someone else's reaction!

Anyway, my question is, where and how was this intricate process of inserting the tambaaku in the mouth started? Just carefully follow the actions of the driver of a car at a traffic signal. He'll probably follow these steps:

1. Greedily shake out the contents from the brown packet.
   
2. Grind them hard on your hand by using the index finger of the other hand.
   
3. Pull down your lower lip, and then insert the contents into your mouth.
   
4. Then, for some unknown reason, slap your hand hard!
   
5. Savor the taste in mouth for about 5 minutes (while happily yellowing the teeth), and then-
   

Bluaaks-Thu!

It can be seen coming out of anything, and everything. Be it an Ambassador, a Porshe, a penthouse, even the local toilet! Our nation's full of it, at every government office, you can see a decade old layer of some red stuff on the wall, thicker than all the walls combined.

Bluaaks-Thu!

So let's make the 14^th of February the National Spit Day, because moral policemen like Sri Ram Sene have anyway branded Valentine's Day as "foreign crap". That's good, because then we would have to celebrate only one occasion.

That's all, and now I'll end with a- hang on, I'll just relieve my mouth of some stuff by spitting out of the window,

Bluaaks-Thu! Period.

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Bluaaks,

Mad-Ear.